Wednesday, August 18, 2010


Wish: I wish I had a money tree!

Whine: Not feeling well today (Thank You AF)

WooHoo: YAY! It is almost nap time for the boys...and me too!!

Happy Hump Day to YOU!

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

This Sucks

Today should mark week 24 in my pregnancy! I should be enjoying my little man flipping and kicking inside me! I should me going thou baby clothes and making room for the new guy! I should be thinking of names and preparing Jack and Nick for a new baby brother!

But I'm Not!

Instead I sit here with a period from hell, Sad that I don't have a big pregnant belly to rub!


This is my 24 week belly with Nicholas..
Oh how I wish my belly looked like this right now :(

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Height Predictor

Find out how tall your child is likely to be at age 18.
Sex:  M

Age: 3

Height: 3ft 2ins

Weight: 38lbs

Mother's Height: 5ft 3ins

Father's Height: 6ft 4ins

Your boy will likely be 6 ft. 2 in. at age 18.

Young men often continue to grow a little past 18 until they reach 21, but their height at age 18 is very close to their final adult height. This prediction is a "best guess" but it's still just that -- a guess. Based on the formula we used* there is a 50 percent chance that your boy's full-grown height will be within 0.8 inches (above or below) of this prediction, and a 90 percent chance that it will be within 2.1 inches.

Yep! I will have a tall boy :)


(Andy-July 19th)   &  (Me-June 29th)
Safe and Sound

Cancer You two are a double-strength nurturing force! Your number one priority is caring for your children the way you see fit. You'll create a safe and secure home, cozy and comfortable. As the years roll by, you'll develop your own set of family rituals and traditions when you celebrate birthdays, holidays, and other special events. These traditions foster intimacy and long-lasting relationships.

As parents, you are very sensitive to every little hurt your child endures. If you could, you would gladly take on their pain. Your children will feel secure in your love and close to the family. If there is one word of warning, it would be this: Be careful not to smother the kids. Don't cling to them, for childhood is one long process of becoming independent. You wouldn't want to get in the way of that.

Jackson Clark (May 17th) 
About the Taurus Child
Built for Comfort, Not for Speed

Salt of the earth -- that's your Taurus child in a nutshell. Even as infants, these children are sweet, affectionate, and cuddly. They also tend to be strong and hearty.

Introduce your baby to the great outdoors as early as possible -- the young Taurus thrives in a natural environment. Older Taurus children often enjoy having a small garden, houseplants, or animals to care for, and they're quite diligent in their duties.

Children of the Bull experience the world through their senses: They like the way things taste, feel, sound, and smell. In fact, from the moment they're born, they love to eat -- although they may develop a short list of preferred foods and stubbornly refuse to try anything new. If so, don't worry! Calmly offer them wholesome foods, and they'll eventually branch out. But do avoid sugary snacks, which can interfere with their naturally healthy appetite.

Even when young, Taurus children are practical and good with money. A primary need for Taurus folks of all ages is security. Small Taurus babies like to be swaddled and held, which makes them feel safe. Some Taurus children are clingy, while others develop an attachment to a security blanket or hoard their possessions. Let your love be their haven.

Taurus children aren't hurried. In fact, they're downright slow -- which you as a parent will need to adjust for in your scheduling. Don't pack too many activities into a day, and don't expect your Taurus child to pick up the pace. It's just not going to happen.

 Nicholas Donald (Jan. 9th)
About the Capricorn Child

Geared for Success

Napping, pretending, playing dress-up or hide-and-seek -- these may not be high on your little Capricorn's agenda. This child is too driven to waste time on anything so frivolous!

Capricorn kids tend to be practical and reward-oriented from an early age, and they're willing to work hard for the results they seek. They might know early on what they want to be when they grow up. And if they're slow to develop or choose a particular interest, don't worry; Capricorns improve with age.

Capricorn children are planners. Success and approval are among their primary needs. They want other people to see how smart, hardworking, and competent they are, so be sure to reward your little Capricorn frequently.

Giving your Capricorn child an allowance and increasing it with each birthday is a good way to teach her about the value of money. Don't be surprised if she squirrels it away in her piggy bank and uses it only for the occasional, much-coveted purchase.

Your Capricorn child will make a wonderful older sibling, because this sign possesses a natural sense of responsibility. Try not to load her up with too much responsibility at a young age, however, no matter how well she seems to handle it. Even the most serious children need to play and have downtime!

Also, try to teach your child the benefits of flexibility. Otherwise, it's all too easy for your little Capricorn to slip into one rigid way of seeing and being in the world.

 (Me & Andy)  &  (Jackson)
Naturally Robust
Security is nearly as important to your Taurus child as it is to you. You love creating a comfortable home for your family, and your little Taurus appreciates your generous culinary efforts, your numerous hugs and kisses, and your ability to let her know just how much she's adored.

In your house, family time is paramount and little Taurus gladly follows your example in maintaining close ties with loved ones, pets, and neighbors. You understand the need for downtime, which benefits your mellow, slow-paced child. She may not need to recharge her emotional batteries as often as you do, but she does enjoy frequent naps and cuddle sessions. Still, she's naturally robust, so encourage her to play outdoors and don't worry too much as she explores the world. She's innately practical, after all, and has a solid sense of her own limits.

 (Andy & Me)   &  (Nicholas)

Seeking Security
You and your Capricorn child have similar concerns when it comes to feeling safe and secure. You both naturally thrive in a stable home life, surrounded by people you can depend on. Although your child may have worldly ambitions from an early age, your emphasis on family and tradition provides her with a firm foundation. You can be that anchor for your little Capricorn, giving her the emotional support she may not even realize she needs.

From an early age, your Capricorn child is responsible and driven, and she might forget the importance of relaxing or paying attention to her feelings. That's where you, as her parent, come in. You are sensitive to her moods and know just when and how to get through to her. Gently remind your little one to rest and recharge, and soothe her when she overextends herself.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

"Are you a Tigger or an Eyore?"

Well this was asked by the late, great, Randy Pausch! I have really thought about this over the years and I have to say that I am an Eeyore.

It's not that I am unhappy with life or mad or sad all the time. It is that I look at life in an "Eeyore" kind of way. I have been told my many (mostly not so nice people in my family) that I am a negative type of person. Yes! I see my glass as half empty. But that works for me and always has.

The way I see it, I don't get my hopes up on things. I always try to remember the bad before I can think of the good. I have tried to not think that way, but I only get hurt in the long run.

I am what I like to call a realist. Ok,maybe that is a way of sugarcoating! But I don't see pie in the sky. I see the real in everything. I don't like pretending everything is going to be sunshine and rainbows! We live in a cruel world and everything doesn't work the way we want it.

I Do hope for the best, but never expect it. I know I sound like a downer. But this is what works for me. Even before all the hell I have gone thru, the past two years, I have always been this way. I think my childhood may have a lot to do with it too (that is a whole different blog). But I know even as a baby I looked at the world as if I needed to gain it's trust before I took another step. And guess what, I was knocked down over and over to get where I am today. I am not saying there wasn't some wonderful along the way, after all I am a mother! But it sure hasn't been all rainbows and Sunshine!

Sometimes I get mad when other people don't see the world as I do. I just don't understand. How many times in my life will I have to say, "I told you so"? Most of the time I think people make it harder on themselves. Just face the facts!

To me, when life lets me down, I am usually prepared. I am more ready to deal with it because I have thought of the the bad before the good. But sometimes I am wrong (YES! I just said that....I wont say it again)! When something good happens I am shocked and surprised! I even think I appreciate the "good" more then others. I just don't expect it.

The past two years have thrown me for a loop. Losing my Dad has been the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with. I think because I didn't let myself think that badly (there is some good in me). But to be honest I did think (or maybe it was more of a feeling) 'somethigs' was going to happen to my Dad when he left for Iraq. It was more on the lines of post traumatic stress. I had this feel he was going to come back different. I never thought he was going to come back in a casket! Not only that, I sure the hell never thought that my family (blood) was going to fall apart. In losing my Dad, I also lost 90% of my family. I will put it out there, it was mostly my choice. But the way my brain works and the way I want to live my life (for me and my children) it was better for me to walk away when I did. I not only mourn for my Dad. I mourn for what was ( my so-call happy little family).Neither here nor there, thru all of that I remained an Eeyore!

When I lost my baby boy, I was NOT expecting that one. After all I was past the "danger zone" and I already had one miscarriage, lightning doesn't strike the same person twice....right? And yet again I was wrong (damn I need to stop saying that)! This was the topping on my already faithless, hopeless sundae.

I am an Eeyore! After all he was always my favorite in the book!

Friday, August 6, 2010


I just want to say how much I hate my husband's computer game! I want to smash the whole damn computer! All I see is the back of Andy's head from the time he comes home from work to the time he goes to bed....and all weekend! It is our biggest fight!
OK.....Yes....he works "hard" from 6am to 2:30pm. And I very much  appreciate that. And I know he keeps a roof over our heads, clothes on our back, and food in out bellies. But It is like he is not even here most of the time. When I ask him to help me do something for the boys, most of the time I get, "hold on I am in the middle of something" or "I just joined a team I can't right now". OMG that make me soooo mad to hear that!
Yes, I talk on the phone a lot (according to him) and Yes I have TV shows I watch! But I would gladly turn those things off for some attention or some family time! I just feel so alone most of the time. Hell I am home all day as it is...talking to a 1 and 2 year old all day. What I wouldn't give for a husband who would talk to me every now and then! It just makes me so mad!

Blogging when you are mad and having a bad day is not a good thing!!!!

Rock Stars

 I LOVE this band!!
I'm their BIGGEST fan!!

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

My Hero, My Daddy

A Daddy’s girl …..that was me! I loved my Dad so much! He was my go to, the answer to all of my questions, and my safety! We would have so much fun together! I was the one that ate the same foods as him. The one that would watch the movies he liked, with him. And the one that would help him with all of his projects. We were two peas in a pod! I trusted him more than anyone else in this world! He could lie to me but I still would believe him. He was never wrong in my eyes. He was VERY smart and he could achieve ANYTHING! He is my HERO!

On November 15, 2008, My Hero took is last flight. That was the day I lost my Hero! The saddest day of my life!

I miss my Dad more that word can express! A lot of things have fallen apart since he left us….as he was the glue to our family! It is hard to stick together without glue!

It saddens me to know that my boys will never know this Hero! What a Great role model he would have been to them! He had this “God” like strength ….as if he were going to conquer the world! But he was so humble and down to earth. He was an all around NICE guy! He knew no strangers! You either loved him or hated him. Most considered him their best friend!

He was and always will be my Daddy and my Hero!
I plan to write more about him and what happen....

Blogging in my sleep

When I get ready to go to sleep at night, I think of all different kind of things I want to blog about. But when I log on to write a blog I can't think of anything to say. It is frustrating! I will come up with something new...I hope!

Monday, August 2, 2010

Week 3 of Happy Pills

So with all that has been going on in my life the past (almost) 2 years and mostly the death I have experienced(my Dad and Baby), I talked to my Dr. about some head-meds. When I went for my post-op from my D&C, He asked how I was doing mentally and I told him not so good. I asked if he thought an antidepressant would help. He thought that it would but it would take 3-4 weeks to start working. Here I am on week 3 and Andy has said that I seem happier. I informed him it was all a joke…lol! But no…I do think it might be helping….maybe. I am the least craziest person in my family and I am the one taking drugs ……that seems way off to me and crazy. Oh well I admitted to a problem and got help! YAY HAPPY ME!